Anarchy

"Anarchy of Thoughts in the Void of Silence"

"Anarchy of Opinions in the unfathomable Depths of a Soul...
Yet a smile on the lips."

"Anarchy reigned in, Sense prevails.
The silence of the Wind, before a storm."

"Subtle strength of Individuality
from the Chaos of the Void
Anarchy, gentle as the Twilight Wind."

Me Loves! :P

I love-

1. Lots of things! :)
2. All my coffee mugs... all have their special purposes and they individually specialize in separate kinds of Coffee.
3. The way a dog looks at you... the way a pup waddles...
4. The sound of a basketball on the ground. Thud! Thud!
5. Clapton, Cobain, Knopfler, U2, Pink Floyd to name a few.
6. Dad. Mum. Sis. Bro-in-law. :) Granma-Granpa. Every single close relative... all my silly cousins.
7. All the Dogs in the family.
8. My pillowcase. YES! Awesome sexy Blue.
9. My towel... good stuff.
10. A book, music and a window when it's raining.
11. Random conversations with interesting girls... :P
12. Sending silly texts to pals
13. Reading their replies
14. Rinkal... for an awesome January 2009.
15. Ruta... my pal.
16. The ruddy college (RAIT) with its ruddy people
17. Mumbai with its local trains.
18. Hugs
19. Yelling myself hoarse when all alone and frustrated
20. Staying up till late... then a walk on empty streets.
21. The Sea... the Mountains...
22. My pillowcase. YES!
23. The shoes...
24. Leather. LOVE IT!
25. Sophistication.
26. Open minds... Free souls...
27. Myself.
28. My long locks... *sobs* Need to grow them back.
29. DELL... for some weird reason. Actually- there ain't no reason.
30. Skoda, Audi- ditto.
31. The feel of a coffee shop... music and the sofas.
32. The ecstasy of climbing up a peak to discover Wind and a View.
33. Little kids
    
34. Sparrows, their kids and their eyes.
35. Old books
36. Cozy Indoors
37. Badminton and a nice Swim
38. Television :D
39. A click which makes sure the Internet is up and working!
40. Life.

Life starts at 40! Godspeed! :P

Cocaine

"If you got bad news, you wanna kick them blues; cocaine.
When your day is done and you wanna run; cocaine.
She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie; cocaine..."

The break of dawn, a cuppa Caffeine, them Clapton songs and Memories.
I write and thus release those mental blocks or maybe it is just like talking about something and getting just ears in return, which seldom happens. So I write. And instead of couple of close pals, I tell it to all you dear people who read my blog thingy.

Mum says I caress the mental blocks when I write and rather than solving them, I just write about them thus glorifying stuff I shouldn't be glorifying. No Ol' Momma, I don't glorify the shit in my mind. Do we glorify shit? We just take it out the right way and there it goes down with the flushed water. And we come out satisfied. :)

Clapton takes me back to a few chosen paths in my mind. I miss certain moments and a person. It was during the Clapton strums I fell in love with her and over Clapton strums the feeling had to go.

That feeling has no past and certainly no future. It fades away the next instant but at that time- I'm all warm and a fool for ruddy emotions. :)

"If your thing is gone and you wanna ride on; cocaine.
Don't forget this fact, you cant get it back; cocaine.
She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie; cocaine..."

A Narcotic.
That is what Love is. And that is what it feels like when it's supposed to stay no more. It comes back, in a rush of sounds and heart-beats, when you live in the past and then you open your eyes, here is your present... future staring you in the face and the Mad Rush?
Gone... like the rain.

I missed her today morning. Then I missed her no more.
I don't know whether I'll miss her again or not.
It is not for me to know.
Not when it comes and goes with Clapton strums.
And I am not an addict for sure. :)

Just stay in the moment and feel in love.
Then stay in the future and feel in love with another person.
What matters is the melting feeling you experience...
And the silly grin that forms on your face.

Feel the rush and let it go.
It gives you a High and an Insight into things.
The pieces all fall into place and you see the sense of things.
A jigsaw never makes sense in the present but it does in the future.
Godspeed!

"She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie; cocaine."

The Wait

A lit Lamp in a Dark room
with a Single window
Open to the moonlit Sky
Open to the curious Wind
Which enters but never leaves.

Lamp lit on a Single book
Archives of other lessons in the Dark
Their Secrets sleep for another Day

The Single Lamp
Follows a Single strain of Thought
On a Single lingering note
Of the Music
Which will bloom into a Symphony
When the Light of the Day
Comes in
And the Secrets of all
the Archives
Lie open to the World.
:)

Taoism

Lao Tzu: (with a tiny bit of my addition :P)

Be bent and you will remain straight.
Be vacant and you will remain full.
Be worn and you will remain new.

In order to contract a thing, one should surely expand it first.
In order to weaken, one will surely strengthen first.
In order to overthrow, one will surely exalt first.
In order to take, one will surely give first.
In order to unscrew a coffee bottle,
You will surely apply force on the wrong side first.

This is called Subtle Wisdom.
:)

Essence Divided

Image Courtesy: The Division Bell, Pink Floyd *bows*


We often find people behaving the other way and later finding out what was actually going on in their many-layered mind. We often find ourselves smiling at the very person we don’t really bother our inner selves about.
Why the divided essence of our soul?

It does not necessarily mean that we are two-faced and we scheme and we hide our real selves from the world. It does not even mean that the intentions are always malicious. Just that- we are not the same from the inside and the outside as a human being, as a Self, should be.

Take a glass of water.
Pure in its contents, as a soul should be.
Add in generous spoonfuls of oil.
A nice, thick layer of oil forms thus dividing air and water.
What do we have?
Two liquid layers.
I won’t say they are acting as one since though they are in one container, in a single physical form; they have quite clearly made their identity known.
Essence of the liquid- divided.

What if I do the same to your goldfish bowl?
The fish will die. Why?
The layer of oil prevents the water from getting atmospheric oxygen.
The fish suffocates and consequently dies.
An addition of a layer, which does not complement the first, suffocates the Life of the true One.

Try blocking your inner self with something quite the opposite.
Love dies when you coat it with hatred/indifference/denial.

Hate dies when you coat it with love/forgiveness/mercy.

We can’t be Frank Souls out there.
We need to think of the Words we are going to say and about the people who are going to listen to them. There are Manners to be thought of, Respect to be maintained and earned, Etiquettes to be sure of and Subtlety which is a must.

Coating our emotions is a must. Being impulsive pays no debts.
Dissolving Hatred and dissolving Love by convincing oneself is alright… but on no accounts should one enter a state of Denial. It’s hopeless. Interestingly, both the methods involve coating of emotions so it is purely dependent on the individual and his/her maturity.

Strangling of One’s soul and emotions is Self Murder.
Key is to know the difference between ‘coating’ and ‘strangling’.
Denying this murder is the easiest thing ever known…
:)

Flight of the Butterfly

Be black on something white
or
Be white on something black
You will stand out and you won't be able to do anything about it.

Or just let the butterfly of your thoughts settle on your colorless mind, paint it all black and make believe everything is One. Because the multicolored butterfly is now black, just like everything else. You painted stuff with the color you wanted and now everything is of the color you wanted. Just like you think it should be.

And when the slightest wind makes the insect fly away, it leaves behind a mark. And you try to justify the Flight of the Butterfly.

Better to keep the wall clean from the start.
Better to keep the slate clean.

If multicolored graffiti is not your cup of tea, better not start with any. If you want to experiment, make sure there are no remnants of past experimentation.

Even if I become blind,
I'll run my hand over the wall just to make sure there is nothing removable/alive on it.
If I want my wall black, I'll make sure nothing can make it white.

Bull's Eye!
:)

I Hung Up

It was a hard day.
After a recent screw-up on the academic front, I was slightly err, okay- greatly mind-fucked.

Mind-Fucked:
When I feel immature to the core, take pleasure in impulsive and rash decisions and am either found lying somewhere looking all gloomy or laughing my arse off for no reason at all.

Had spent the day in important meets and quality coffee indulgence, quality chocolate indulgence and quality conversations with pals- Ruta ‘n Andre.

Evening came with its blues and gentle hues.
Today those were melancholies…

The call had come and I ignored it. Didn’t feel like picking it up like I once used to. Sometime later, a song reminded me of the very person and this time I called the number up.

There was a time when I used to look up the same phone number and feel at peace listening to whatever went on the other end of the line. I talked stuff, I heard stuff and I heard stuff.
But today was a rainy day.

James Morrison-
“It is gonna be a rainy day
There’s nothing we can do to make it change
We can pray for sunny weather
But that won’t stop the rain.”

I called up the number; it rang and was picked up. And then it started. I could hear about the haze of things which had happened in her parallel life today. I heard this and I heard that. A few mentions of people about whom I don’t care a fart. I kept listening.

Something was different today.
I could not understand what was wrong or rather I kept wondering was it really wrong. How did I ever found similar conversations interesting? Was it really a part of my ‘memorable’ past? Moments spent in waiting for these conversations?

Maybe I had changed.
Maybe she had changed.
Maybe the times had changed.

Actually- Today had changed.
The equations did not fit in the table Today.

I could not take it anymore.
Here I am, mind-fucked, and not able to get a word out to calm myself.
And I expected this call to ease my stress?!

I could not take it anymore.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll be able to.
Not today.

I felt bored.
Maybe there was a call waiting on my cell-phone or maybe there wasn’t any…
But I lied that there was and I hung up.

*strides away*

Tonight

I can’t sleep tonight

Under the sky
The stars shine bright above
Glinting of the Tomorrow Dreams
They smile down and speak of glory
That comes from the ascent to their height
Oh yes they speak of the Light
But I can’t sleep tonight

Up a Mountain
I chose the steepest climb
And made it even harder
By choosing the wrong niches
My Stupidity
Then I fell- again and again
Broke my limbs- again and again
I cry out aloud looking up at the sky
With my arms, hugging myself tight
But I can’t sleep tonight

At the Sea
Mighty winds tell tall tales
Of the glory they have but vanquished
Of the Lost Kings and their Armadas
But a bundle of woods against the Sea
To hold planks of wood, iron must be strong
The hands that shape Iron should be strong
For the hands, Will should be strong
They speak and I heed my eyes Bright
But I can’t sleep tonight

Time
Is flowing like the river?
Is deep as the ocean?
Is impatient as the wind?
Or is plainly me?

Every moment I spend
In falling down and getting up again
Is like a flash of a fish’s fin
As it escapes the fishing net

Flight of my saner soul?
I’m afraid…
So I can’t sleep tonight.