I’m made up of bits and pieces. Thankfully, most of them cooperate and come together to form ‘Sushrut’… the one you see all over the place.
There’s this one part of me… the little someone inside me… who’s got a mind of his own on every damn thing. He thinks for himself and his opinions don’t usually match with the rest of me.
I have him silenced at every possible opportunity and it aint tough because he’s after all my buddy. A pal who’s bloody critical.
He thinks differently, doesn’t give a damn what others think. He’s free as any polythene lying on the road. I’m comfortable with him and his thoughts only when I’m alone.
Because that’s when I mull over life in general.
My state of mind has changed drastically in the past couple of months. New relationships, new responsibilities… I can feel a whole new ‘Me’ being formed.
It was yesterday that I finally found time to communicate with the rebel inside me. He said he didn’t think much of the recent developments. He didn’t approve of quite a few things. I agreed with him. I normally do.
I lay sprawled on my bed. A warm mug of coffee adding the much needed coziness to the atmosphere. It was slightly cold. I could see wind flirting with the trees outside.
I missed my past.
Let me get one thing straight. When I start thinking, I recognize no boundaries. My present and future… I give no damn.
For no reason, I missed a certain someone. Someone I know I couldn’t be happy with. I… just… missed her.
Then I thought of my priorities… I suddenly wasn’t sure whether they have changed or not. I was blinded for a moment, not knowing where I’m heading… or rather, not wanting to know.
I felt unsure of the present. I wished for a cocoon to hide from it all. I wanted to run away and forget the things as they are. Again, I found no reason.
The future… I was repulsed at the very thought. I saw no future.
Call these the random ramblings of a crazy mind. I can’t think of anything more on the subject. This is what I felt when I was myself. This is what I felt when I believed myself to be free of all bonds.
I don’t know whether it’s right or wrong.
‘Twas just a memorable evening with Me and Me. :)
