Brush Strokes

I created a portrait of a storm
that was raging inside
Of violent colors and angry streaks
It spoke of the rising dark and failing light
A haze of resentment yelling out
Lashing out at the World it detests
I painted my dissolving dreams
I painted my vision which sulked at the world
I created a portrait and regretted it
And so it was discarded.

I flirted with the colors soon after
The colors which spoke of the faintest whispers
I created a portrait of the climbing sun
On the greenest of valleys
I drew the echoes of my heart beats
painted those mild swirls with tinge of red
I ran my brush for the joys it gave
to my simple heart
Its every touch like a tender kiss
Giving life to a deadened skin
Paper spoke out its love for the vibrant colors
And I created Life, beneath the sun, as I know it.

A single night, A single blow
And walls collapse; so do I, from within.
The Work of Spring now buried beneath the pile.

Blank canvas, wide sky and strums of an Acoustic
as I stand yet again with a palette held tight
Colors, joyful as ever, living and waiting to give life.
I pause
Is there an urge to create again?

Coming Back to Life - Pink Floyd

This song is one of their most beautiful compositions.
I've lived it in the past.
Whether I'm living it now... I don't know and won't care to know.
But I want to build something from the silence.

--

Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and I was helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone else' words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun

Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of live and the seeds of change were planted

Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but
I took a heavenly ride through one silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the waiting had begin
And headed straight... into the shining sun

--

The song is wonderful.
Heeded it for the first time as I witnessed the audacity of the raindrops on a suburban railway station.
I wrote my first write-up listening to it.. lived it then.. and evolved.
I'm evolving again.

:)

Buffet

This crap is being written only because a certain Mohsin D has tagged random people in his Facebook 'Note' and the list includes Sushrut (Me) as well.
You'll be able to find him (Mohsin) in Sewri. Don't try and accost him at night, he may get really violent.
Try to catch him in mellow moods.

Moi:

1) I love with all my life, hate with all my abuses, laugh with all my guts pouring out.

2) Can't write without inspiration except while typing letters to a certain someone.
Anything and everything can inspire me... may it be raindrops falling on a railway track or a cup of coffee. :P

3) Music is a part of me:
-(Clapton, John Mayer, Agnee, Doors, Dire Straits, Mark Knopfler, Country, Marc Antony, Pink Floyd when I'm busy musing)
-(Children of Bodom, Korn, Metallica, Cradle of Filth, Nirvana, Devildriver, Linkin Park when I'm angry)
-(Oldies, Marathi, Lounge, Beethoven, Rahman when I'm at peace and joyful)
-(Nirvana, Guns n Roses, 3 Days Grace and stuff when I'm feeling rebellious)
-(Host of songs when I'm in some other mood...) :P

4) For some reason, I love drinking black coffee from the CCD mini-outlet at Dadar station, Platform 4.
Even better if it's raining.
I always miss a couple of trains sipping at the bitter liquid.. and feel free to glare around the platform.
Few aunties enthusiastically take the hint and glare back at me. It's fun!

5) Trains and I share a unique (or weird) relation.
I feel damn patriotic while seeing two trains move parallel to each other. Got no idea why...

6) Also, I happen to meet number of interesting folks in the train and somehow we get talking.
Prominent among them are:
-A fella who brings in celebrities while organizing an event,
-A Consultant in Instrumentation industry (my field) :P
-A bloke who worked with MU radio and is a Wilsonite/Wilsonian. (dude you've been tagged) :D

7) I prefer putting stuff down point-wise. Makes it damn clear to understand. Why I care.. dunno.

8) Sipping freshly brewed Scotch in the Highlands is a dream which will soon come true. :P
Also, I want to wear those skirts (no offense) and play bagpipes.

9) Interestingly, all my weird and adventurous dreams feature my girl instead of Family... maybe its true with all ye guys.
But yeah, I'm never alone.

10) Want to die a sudden death and don't want my body found.
Maybe in an ocean, down a cliff or buried in the snow.
Ain't afraid of death.

11) Chocolate is adored. Try my best to have a Lindt Excellence 85% within reach, always.

12) Romantic at heart and at times, impractical.
Damn practical when it comes to handling emotionally sensitive situations concerning loads of people.

13) Can't read Marathi due to lack of patience. Ain't proud of the same.
Love my mother-tongue though..

14) Got a fascination for dark eyes and long hair (in girls) :P Damn, thunderbolt strikes!

15) Yeah, I read.
For some reason, can't experiment unless the suggestion comes from a trusted source.
Sucker for:
- Wodehouse (Blandings, Psmith, Bodkin)
- War novels (Forsyth, Tom Clancy, Alistair Maclean and Ludlum)
- Bill Bryson (That guy makes me laugh the loudest!!)
- Ayn Rand (She creates a world of her own)
- J.K.Rowling (Loved Potter series.. with its faults)
- J.R.R.Tolkien (A genius)
- Mario Puzo (Godfather was the best though)
- Tolstoy (Have read just a couple of stories and have loved them dearly. His style..)
Currently on Chekhov's works..

16) Photography is a passion.
Trying to learn it myself.. thanks to an invaluable SLR gifted to me by a dear relative. (Thank you!!)
*tears of gratitude* :P

17) Love to read battles and stuff. The strategies intrigue me.
Something in it makes me feel the glory, the power with which the conquering riders rode down the defeated enemy... History fascinates.
AOE, Commandos are games close to my heart.

18) Fond of strategy games.. Zoo tycoon made me a billionaire when I was 13! :P

19) Cycling, Swimming and Badminton give me a certain level of joy which can be summed up in a single word: 'Orgasmic'!
Such freedom, they giveth!

20) Enjoy laughing out loud.
They said Sushrut can laugh seeing one wagging finger. I disagreed.
They won since I laughed my arse off.
Some people who have made me laugh really really hard:
- Dad, Mum, Sis
- School folks: Suraj, Sanjay, Anup
- High School: Aniruddha
- RAIT: Anand, Koti, Swami, Pratyush, Arjun
- Phameely: Soumitra, Ishan (those cousins are nuts!) :P
- His Majesty King Julian (Lord of 'em all!)

21) I write and let go. I think and I write what I think.
I love to write because that's the easiest way for me to express those unspoken feelings. *saintly expressions* :P

22) Believe dogs are one of the best things alive. Their frank and stupid expressions are enough.. :)

23) Sparrows find liberty at my place to build homes and raise kids.
Feel free to pick up food from my plate, shit on my bedsheet, shit on my tee, shit on my denim, and fly around only when the fan is switched on.
Pigeons feel it's their right to enter the house and lay eggs on the sofa.
Trust me, this has happened. Must have forgotten the way to her nest.. stupid git.
I loathe pigeons.

24) Feel my best with a hot cuppa, cozy room, low light, music and my thoughts.
Add in a girl I love. Yesh, that eesh always included.

25) Had never thought I will complete all 25. Without inspiration. :P
Thank you Mohsin, for the same.
Thank you Asa, for introducing me to terms like 'Gah', 'Bleh'.
Thank you Rinkal, for everything and everything.
Thank you Ruta, for moozik, books, crazy ideas and all the stuff you know. ;)
Thank you Priyanka, for showing me that an Engineer can become a Doctor too!
Thank you Dr.Pingu, for the Rhapsodized design. :P
Thank you Harshil, for the Rhapsodized scooter rides. :)
Thank you Sudheer Aajoba, for Psmith.
Thank you Ishan and Soumitra, for those wild laughs and realizations.
Thank you Sanjeev, for 6/10 on our very first meet. :P
Thank you Soumendra, for making me a moderator.

Cheers,

A Cup Half Drunk

Another evening fading fast

A cup of coffee lies half full in front of the computer screen

Marc Antony singing and my eyes unseeing… yet completely focused.

So many things yet left to be done

So many memories yet left to be built

Restrained heart wanting to sing aloud from the roof

All this clamped up now

And the dreams lie incomplete

An abrupt end, which I so detest

No one to blame

No one at fault

Except two silly hearts

One brave enough to take on the world

The other tender enough to bow down before an illogical will

The whispers, hidden smiles, soft kisses, held hands and the cold wind

Glare of the sun, coffee sips, long walks, telephone chats and warm hugs

All to be buried six feet deep

Forever?

Hope not.

The cup lies half full.

I take my thoughts off the coffee abandoned halfway through.

I think of the coffee already within me, giving me bliss.

The cup of coffee is not half full.

It is half drunk.

A Circle of Love

(Concerned fellas kindly note that the following post came out as an impulse)

A perfect, pleasant evening and a random guy gets in touch with his random crush from high school.

They get back in regular correspondence and he is as happy as he could be.

Let us consider this a detour from her regular life which could have gone on without his interference.

He had entered her scene quite suddenly with a couple of ice cream scoops.

This was also a detour from his regular life.

A prospect of another relationship loomed before his eyes.

Skeptical, he was.

Soon, they both started off.

They talked, discussed, laughed, argued and learnt.

Each interacted with an individual whom he/she might never have met.

This thought itself struck them as horrible since they (amusingly) believed that it would be like missing out on chocolate in a chocolate ice cream.

A circle of love was perfectly completed.

An issue crops up.

Someone, something, guilt, conscience and all of them together are too strong to go against.

Won’t be possible for one of them to wave it aside like any other disturbing thought…

And so they are back to where they had started…

Just that- it’s a bit like before they’d started.

The reason being- it’ll be like they had never met.

Her life will go on and so will his.

And he leaves her unruffled life never to return again.

Shtatush *hic*

Family: A bit distant at the mo... just because I'm distancing myself from them. Aint saying my behavior is justified.

Ex: Lost count *collapses under sheer strain*

Relationship Status: single *glares*

Best Buds: All around me *smiles*

Girls I find cute: "huh?"

Girls who find me cute: Wanting to stay away from them *uncorks the finest coffee bottle available* :P

Music: Nirvana, Godsmack, DevilDriver, Pink Floyd and all other local punk, alternative and metal bands *takes a big sip*

Cellphone: Working like a young pony *eyes become droopy*

Hair: slllllllooooooowwwwllllyyyy dwindling *another big swig from 'coffee' bottle*

Mates: All around me *hic* *soul is sozzled*

Kid bros: Away in a faraway shitty *checks the label on the bottle* *hic*

Head: Too muddled to think *Reads aloud 'Vodka'* *hic*

What the heck?! *hic*

I Self-Destruct?

We always seem to self-destruct in an attempt to screw the gloom over our tired minds.

We drink, smoke, tear our ear-drums with loud music and losers go to an extent of indulging in narcotics.

I do a couple of the above.

I drink coffee in excess when I need a sanctum.

I rip apart my inner-ear coils with Metal music at every possible opportunity.

What do I get?

An illusion that my thoughts are somewhere else…

And I know it’s an illusion.

Also, I stare into oblivion while doing the tasks above.

And that makes me fall deeper and deeper and deeper…

Some things are made to last and they should.

When they don’t, it seems as if the entire universe has conspired to make it all go wrong!

(Now where have I read the exact opposite?)

And I decide to take on the Universe for that one folly.

Things I can’t stand:
Helplessness when my better half is crying on the other side of phone

Illogical end to a perfectly wonderful thing which was made to last

And things, I shall change.

I won’t self-destruct this time…

I shall attempt to construct a Turquoise colored dream full of White Lilies.(Don’t ask)

My Sneakers Squeak

It was night. The moon was climbing high. Supper was yet to reach home (my tummy) though…
I was on phone and talking to someone I love talking to. Being asked whether I can come to a faraway station just for a meet, I made up my mind in an instant and dressed up.
I was dying to meet the human anyway.

I put on clothes from the nearest heap and found out that I was wearing my favorite combination till date. Lucky me!

Excuse was made to the family as I was putting on my sneakers. Nike.
I love them. And they love me too.
And they squeak for some unknown reason when I’m in a dental college.

I called up my Dental Owlet, who I was gonna meet, as soon as I stepped out into the night air.
I had no idea how come I made up my mind so quickly.
Maybe I wanted to show I can do it.
Maybe I just wanted the meet to take place.
Maybe I had gone crazy.
Maybe I had fallen (and was falling hard) into that wonderful emotion.
Or maybe I was just following my heart.
It’s stupid at times, I know.
And Arrogant. And Romantic.

My sneakers squeaked as I climbed into the suburban train. I grinned.

We met at the pre-decided station.
Our eyes spoke as much as she did. :P

Hands held tight, we spoke in those million languages of our world.
Too reluctant to stop chattering… :P
Aunties glared at us culprits of PDA.

Train came again and took us back to our respective residences.
Phone calls made up the aftermath of our meet.

Lying on my bed, I grinned in that foolish dazed way… which (for me) is a combination of ecstasy thoroughly mixed with extreme drowsiness.

Elvis crooned his songs in my silly heart.

I could have sworn that my sneakers squeaked on that shoe-stand of theirs…

Midnight Good Blues

Status (updated):

Family- with moi, at my place, except dear Dad. (Sis and Bro-in-law have been Skyped)

Ex- dont give a damn

Relationship Status- Not single *grins*

Best buds- Out of touch with a couple, the rest working their asses off for college fest

Girl I find cute- with moi

Girls who find me cute- wanting to be out of their reach. :P

Music- B-Adams, Lionel Richie, Abba, Savage Garden, Boyzone, Westlife, Pink Floyd, Usher and the lot

Cell phone- ever ageing

Hair- slooooooowllly dwindling

Mates- Some out of touch, some reading my blog, some working their 'donkeys' off for the college fest

Kid Bros- both of ‘em in a far away city

My head- in that ruddy cranium and flying high too!

Yay!! :D

Love ye all!

The Crow Comes Too Fast

Recently saw a great movie ‘The Crow: City of Angels’. It was awesome and scary.

A crow symbolizes the spiritual aspect of death… or rather, the transition of life into afterlife.
For me, it stands for the March of Time. Not doom, no. *laughs*

As wise Dumbledore has said, death is but the next big adventure.
It is just Time.
Time passes… and we have to live with it.
Also, manage to create ripples whenever we can.

An eternal ripple is what I’m aiming for.

Sadwelkars are our family friends. Recently, they sent us a piece of art as a gift.
(Sheil and Minoo Sadwelkar are amazing artists)
It is a calendar adorned by many paintings done by the former 12 students (National and International award winners) of VCW Academy of Fine Arts.

Just glancing through those wonderful works, I felt like painting the world with my thoughts. I longed for those flirtatious conversations with colors I used to have long back when I was but a kid.

Could not remember why I and Colors parted ways… could not remember why I don’t hold a paintbrush in my hands anymore…

But there are many things which I don’t do but which I’d love to do.

I’m yet to learn how to play good guitar… I’m yet to learn how to sing and yes, paint. I want to dance, skillfully.
Wish I could have given more time to sharpen my acting skills… to sharpen my writing skills (even more). :P

Thing is, time flew by too fast. Or so I feel today.
Some things are to be done at a specific period our life allows us.
It’s never too late but it is indeed late, for most of the things.

Time will move, not heeding our attempts to move against the flow.
It is our quest to make Time move us… with it.

The Crow will come when it will. It shall take my soul beyond.
I am not afraid of the Crow.
My only worry is that it seems to be coming too fast.

I need to start splashing around… eternity awaits me. :)