Fraandship Phone!

Along came the Wheel.

Along came the Frappuccino.

And along came the Cellphone.

And this thing then caught on. Cellphones became SmartPhones.

Why? Because they got smarter.

Very smart?? Yes.

Too smart for us??? Nope.

*phew*

Cellphones were huge in their early days. Then they became smaller, cuter. Antennae disappeared and the screen became better. Hang on, computers were getting smaller too. Then someone had the guts to bring them together and bang on! Bang on!

Then we had something which we weren’t clear what we have. What do I have in my pocket, human? A tiny computer or a smart cellphone that acts like a computer? Gah. Smart + Phone is SmartPhone. Why get confused. Merge them. Merge them both. Bang on!

I’m a not-so-average human but my life, yes I have one, revolves around the smart old gadget I call, lovingly, my phone. Does that make me an average Mumbaikar? No. Does it matter, at all? Nope.

Why, you ask? Why the PHONE?!

Because, the heck, I cannot remember birthdays.

I cant remember work appointments.

I cant remember phone numbers.

Because, my smart old phone can.

Why should I do all the work, eh? Phone thingy rules!

My phone is the reason I stay in touch with fraands. My phone is the reason I update my Facebook status at the drop of my hat. Oh wait, did that pigeon just defecate on my table? Golly, my hat just fell off in all that excitement. Hold on. There, status updated. I told you I have a life! And my phone is the reason I photograph myself for my fraands. They then like my pictures and images and photographs (and pics, did I say that?) and they comment. I love it when I realize I’m popular.

My head is spinning with excitement. Mary, stop going round and round.

Okay, now I will focus and concentrate.

The points are as follows, teacher:

1) Calls, Missed Calls and SMS

Phone helps me call people and talk to them and converse with them. Phone helps me send texts to people, my service provider.. message people, message my service provider.. sms them all and so on. I can go on and on and on, no? And oh yes, I can give missed calls to all people too. That is a bonus.

Sometimes people and my service provider (whom I don’t like) call me and disturb me when I have food. That is when I get irritated and frustrated. But it is okay. I like my phone number. And I like my ring tone.

2) Music, Songs and Rhythm

I walk with a swagger. Because it is cool.

So I like music very much. My phone can store a lot of songs, music and rhythm in it. With my headphones and earphones, I listen to rock, pop, rap rock, pop rock and rap pop. So I like rhythm very much and shake my head dhup-chik-dhup-chik as I walk. So people like me and smile at me every time. I am so happy. I have fun everyday.

3) Camera

Very helpful, sir, because I’m a talented and gifted photographer. There are moments, certain movements, you don’t want to miss and you can ‘capture the essence of innocence and beauty’ in the camera lens and also in the memory card. Nice, no? My gullphraand smiles and I click her cute pic, image, photograph and pic.

Then I upload it on Facebook and say “My cuuutttiieeee pieeeee. Nice haan.” My friends then like it and say “Yessssss mann.” “Wowwww, gr88 haan” “lol lol lol wth lol lol” I am so popular. My camera helps me to be. I am so happy.

I also photograph, click images of flowers and butterflies. Also, many times, both of them together. Very beautiful. Phone is small, lens is at least 2 MP and one button and photo, image, pic is mine. I am so happy.

4) Emails and Documents

I can email too. So I can forward all emails to all my great grand amazing (Wrong spelling, I mean- ammazinggg) fraand list. So they all forward it and it comes back to me again. Huge circle. So much fun.

I am smart. So I have my resume now. I carry it in my phone and my memory card. What I do is, I can email it to all companies who want a nice employee like me. I can do this on phone. Smart, no? Yes. So I will get employment soon.

5) Maps

I am not that smart, you see. So I get lost very often when I miss my station, traffic signal, favorite shop and garden gate. But my phone is very smart. So I can see where I am going when it shows me maps. Since I can read and I can press buttons, I can see the map on my phone. So much more fun!

6) Friends, Fraands, GirlFriend, Gullphraand, and Frndzzzzz

I wear bright green converse shoes with bright red laces. So I have many friends and a sweet girl friend. But the problem is, I need to call them up everyday and ask for home work. I call my girl friend up to know what she is listening to on the radio. Then I sing along and she cuts the phone. Why? Because I put the singer to shame. I also need to send her love quotes everyday. I send her lyrics from Backstreet Boys songs. She loves them and thinks I write them. Also, I send dirty jokes to my friends. It makes them laugh. They don’t send me messages but it is okay. I am generous and have a life. So you see, phone is very important.

7) Without Phone, I have no life.

Yes indeed. Let us see why. It is as follows:

●         Without a phone, no frustration and irritation.

●        Without a phone, no dhup-chik-dhup-chik. I dont like ipod of any company.

●        Without a phone, no one to call, email, text, sms and message.

●        Without a phone, no fun camera to click, photograph myself.

So you see my life revolves around my phone.

I love my phone.

Without it, I’m just a dried leaf lying abandoned in the New York Central Park.

Without it, *sobs*, I’m just another college student, no?

Without it, I am.. simply.. *sobs harder*.. human.

My Phooooooone!!!

What will I ever do without you?!

Lots of things! I know! But Still!

My Phooooooone!!!

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