I'm Drunk

I've heard Mark Knopfler singing-
"When the journey ends in a worthless haze..."
Does it really? Or is the haze as meaningful as we make it?

Needless to say, I'm as drunk right now as would any bloke be without a drop of alcohol in his blood.
I won't say I'm drunk on coffee.
Rather, I'm drunk on Life.

I'm drunk on Successes, am drunk on Failures.
I'm seeing through the ups and the downs and getting drunk on Emotions.
I'm drunk on Time... erm no, rather the lack of it.

I am sober, my speech is not slurring and neither are my eyes unseeing.
I see, clearly, with a certain cold rage towards the plain practicality of living my Life.
Thoughts going haywire and that prompting me to turn to Metal on my music system... with a hope of understanding what the noise inside means.
Self-destruction by blasting my ear-drums?
Removal of thorn by a thorn.
Removal of love by love.
Why remove?

This post is going to be random.

Life and the way we look at it:
A pal once asked me whether she can join the armed forces once her Medical course is over. I pointed out ways to enter Intelligence and Medic services... but no, she wanted to be on the front, fighting the enemies. I asked why and she replied she wanted to experience the thrill.
Thrill?
Computer games teach us lots about the life we live if only we just look around the obvious picture in front of us.

Considering 'Age of Empires'- there is a thrill of leading vast armies into the battle field. We control the destiny of our city.. of our allies and of our enemies. We don't value animated human lives because we look the collective force. We gladly sacrifice our forces for the greater good... safety of larger number of lives and our city.
There is thrill in planning, directing and executing ambushes and strikes.

Coming to 'CounterStrike'- We are part of an elite assault team fighting an equally elite team of terrorists. Difference- we are in the line of fire... difference between life and death is a mere bullet in the head. Our life has no worth but it is a machine and its death causes no direct harm to the mission. If we die, our teammates can step over our dead body to complete the mission.
We die for the greater good? We fight for greater good?
We fight to live. We are motivated to fight but in the end- we fight to live.
We know that if we don't blast the enemy heads, their sniper slugs will find our eyes.
Thrill? What thrill?

There are reasons and plenty of good ones to be out there on the battlefield. Experiencing a certain kind of thrill can't be one. That is not what killing is all about.

'Guns of Navarone' - Alistair Maclean has one of his characters asking the other-
"Why do we kill?"
The reply is one which I'll never forget-
"We kill so that better men may live"

Killing lives is not funny neither is it necessary. But when it is, it has to be done by hearts of stone. Hearts of the Dead. Machines.
We must forget what our life means to us and how deep it is.
We just need the desire to live and live more in order to kill more.

Thrill comes when we hold the reins... not when we are the reins.
When we are the reins- we should just get drunk on Life, focus and shoot the hell out of what we are aiming at.
No emotions, no family, no love but just You and the bull's eye.
A machine made to succeed.

I'm feeling like a machine... a lost machine who has nothing but programmed work to do.
Gah...

Upon the Hills and the Grey arches of the Sky
Travels a lone melody of my Heart
A single Symphony of meaning
Questioning the very reason of Light
The Notes, which I have lost
The Strums, of that one song
Forsaken now, by the Night.

Night is Mine and so is the Day.
There is no Life which denies Light
Contempt at the attempt to forge new Winds
By stifling the freedom of the Skies

Death is glorious when it ends the Ignorant

\m/